"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things..."

1 Corinthians 13:7

I'm finally emerging from the fog enough to return some phone calls and everyone wants to know the same thing:  "how the heck do severe heart defects go undetected for almost 2 months?".  I asked myself and every doctor the same question.  Here's what I know...her heart checked out fine on ultrasound at 20 weeks (they must have just checked to see if she did in fact have a heart), she was checked by my o.b. at birth, many nurses, and at least 3 different pediatricians in the first few weeks of life.  She ate well and gained weight just fine.  

But, for all of you who are worrying that your child has some terrible, as yet unknown, diagnosis...I did have many concerns about Lilah.  She slept a lot, never cried, and was a very noisy breather.  I'm sure there are plenty of babies out there that fit that mold and are fine, but, looking back, I had a nagging feeling about it.  Of course, I brought all those up at doctor visits, but they aren't exactly huge red flags.  Hindsight is 20/20, but I know now that I was really concerned because I mentioned these things to everyone I knew.  But, I always explained them away (i.e., she's just really laid back) because, to me, she looked perfect.  The strange thing is that now, when I look at earlier pictures, she looks sick.

I am not really upset that so many doctors missed it....it gave me an irreplaceable gift.  I got to have 6 weeks to bond with my perfect daughter....to look into her eyes and think forward to cooking together, shopping trips, and a wedding, without the worry or the fear.  That time gave me the chance to fall so madly in love with this little package that whatever lies ahead is absolutely worth it!