Saturday, September 13, 2008

Agony and Assurance

The Neurologist came this morning and they are sure that Lilah is having seizures.  She underwent a 24 EEG with a video camera monitoring her yesterday so they could "prove" that the events were seizures.  They were able to capture several "events" while she was being monitored and recorded, this information gave the Neurologist proof that her events were indeed seizures. They have now begun a medication that they hope will bring the seizures to a halt.  Her CAT scan was normal and there was one small area on the EEG that he wanted to look at closer.  So, Lilah will have an MRI Monday to further evaluate.  The Neurologist couldn't speculate on what potentially could be the cause of the seizures and said he hoped not to find anything.  They are hoping the seizures stop, it is hard for anyone to rest when they are fearful that she may have another seizure.  Even though the doctors say that the seizures don't "hurt" Lilah, it is hard for Paul and Gina to think of her going through them alone.  So, they kind of feel a sense of having to keep watch round the clock.  This is tiresome for all involved.    
Obviously, they will be in the hospital through the weekend given that the MRI is scheduled for Monday.  Lilah's mom and dad are tired.  The emotions through all of this have been exhausting.  Paul said they were reading a book this morning that a good friend of theirs had given them about Job.  It was saying how Job felt he had been covered in darkness, but had not been failed.  This is where they are...they feel fully fearful and at the same time fully assured.  Trying to balance the intensity of both of these feelings is difficult, to say the least.  They say they feel like there is not really anything they can "do" for Lilah...they can be there for her, love her and comfort her, but they feel a sense of "powerlessness"...and in creeps the fear.  At the same time, they are continually comforted by the Lord and have an "unmistakable assurance" in Him.  They continue to say repeatedly  how "overwhelmed" they are with the support and how "completely  covered" they feel in prayer.  Paul said this verse keeps coming to his mind...
"...if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:13  He says they are also hanging on to these two verses when in agony over their affliction.  Psalm 143:1 says "Oh Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief"  and verse 8 says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  He said these two verses are kind of from different ends of the spectrum, the first is indicative of how they feel in their agony and the second of how they hope that the morning will bring assurance.  This is where they are today.  

Lilah's pediatrician came this afternoon and he thought she looked "good" today, they are always thankful for a positive perspective.  Gina's dad was there "keeping watch" this afternoon while she was resting and Paul was headed home to rest.  Will look to post again Monday after the MRI.  


Johnson Party of seven! said...

Paul and Gina-
Still on our knees... we think of your family often.
David and Jill Johnson

Kristi Kain said...

Thanks for the update! We have been thinking & praying for them all weekend...we did a special intention at church today for Lilah.
The Kains

barb nowicki said...

Gina & Paul,
We can't stop thinking of your family. We're prayerful that Lilah will be home with you soon.
Thank you to your friend who is keeping everyone updated on Lilah's condition. I look forward to some news each day.
Barb Nowicki

The Leonards said...

Paul and Gina,
We continue to pray for Lilah and for you both as you all perservere through another long day. Praying for the seizures to stop and for clarity and a positive report from the MRI tomorrow. Thankful for the care she is receiving and that she seems to be resting well some today. You are doing an amazing job loving her and carrying her through this--it is a beautiful picture of how our Savior loves us and holds us up when we feel like we can't possibly stand on our own. May you feel the strong arms of Jesus around you all and trust in Him as He carries you through this, giving you grace and mercy in the exact way you need it for each moment.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Heb. 4:16
We love you all, Laura

Elizabeth Myatt said...

"I will glory in my Redeemer
my life He bought, my love He owns
I have no longing for another
I'm satisfied in Him alone.
I will glory in my Redeemer
His faithfulness my standing place
though foes are mighty and rush upon me,
my feet are firm held by His grace.
My feet are firm held by His grace."
-From the Lyrics to "I Will Glory in my Redeemer"

Sang this at church this morning and thought it was beautiful. I'll have to sing it for you next time we talk. What a treat that will be for you :-)...praying, praying for a "clean" MRI in the morning. Hope everyone rests well. I love you all so much it hurts.

Anonymous said...

Paul & Gina,

You don't know me, but I heard about you through one of your good friends, Laura Leonard. I am praying for your family and for Baby Lilah. She is precious and God has her in his hands. You faith has truly inspired me. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

Love in Christ,

Christy Bonifacio

J. K. Jones said...

Paul and Gina,

The Jones' and all of our chruch are praying for you daily.

We also have news that some of my blogging buddies are praying as well. you are being prayed for in Australia, New Zealand, and a few other places.


Izzybear said...

Dear Gina and Paul:

We don't know each other but I want you to know that you are in our prayers and will continue to be...the power of prayer reaches across all distances and He knows each and everyone of us in its finest detail.
Corrie and Arnie Owens

Reed's mom said...

Emily Miller is a good friend of mine from college and she sent out an email for prayer for your sweet baby girl. As I have looked at your blog I realized I recognized you from grad school, I believe you were in the class after me. So ironic that we never really crossed paths back then, since from your many friends and perspective on your sweet girl we sound like minded as sisters in Christ. I too have chose to be home with my two little ones as you have, which are about the same ages as yours. So this past week my heart has been so heavy for you and your husband. Even though we don't know one another be encouraged that the body of Christ is lifting you all up in prayer throughout this time of uncertainity. I will definitely keep checking to see how to pray for your family.
May you all continue to rest well and be comforted and strengthened by our precious Lord and Savior.
The Willis Family