Agony and Assurance

The Neurologist came this morning and they are sure that Lilah is having seizures.  She underwent a 24 EEG with a video camera monitoring her yesterday so they could "prove" that the events were seizures.  They were able to capture several "events" while she was being monitored and recorded, this information gave the Neurologist proof that her events were indeed seizures. They have now begun a medication that they hope will bring the seizures to a halt.  Her CAT scan was normal and there was one small area on the EEG that he wanted to look at closer.  So, Lilah will have an MRI Monday to further evaluate.  The Neurologist couldn't speculate on what potentially could be the cause of the seizures and said he hoped not to find anything.  They are hoping the seizures stop, it is hard for anyone to rest when they are fearful that she may have another seizure.  Even though the doctors say that the seizures don't "hurt" Lilah, it is hard for Paul and Gina to think of her going through them alone.  So, they kind of feel a sense of having to keep watch round the clock.  This is tiresome for all involved.    

 

Obviously, they will be in the hospital through the weekend given that the MRI is scheduled for Monday.  Lilah's mom and dad are tired.  The emotions through all of this have been exhausting.  Paul said they were reading a book this morning that a good friend of theirs had given them about Job.  It was saying how Job felt he had been covered in darkness, but had not been failed.  This is where they are...they feel fully fearful and at the same time fully assured.  Trying to balance the intensity of both of these feelings is difficult, to say the least.  They say they feel like there is not really anything they can "do" for Lilah...they can be there for her, love her and comfort her, but they feel a sense of "powerlessness"...and in creeps the fear.  At the same time, they are continually comforted by the Lord and have an "unmistakable assurance" in Him.  They continue to say repeatedly  how "overwhelmed" they are with the support and how "completely  covered" they feel in prayer.  Paul said this verse keeps coming to his mind...

"...if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 2 Timothy 2:13  He says they are also hanging on to these two verses when in agony over their affliction.  Psalm 143:1 says "Oh Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief"  and verse 8 says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  He said these two verses are kind of from different ends of the spectrum, the first is indicative of how they feel in their agony and the second of how they hope that the morning will bring assurance.  This is where they are today.  

Lilah's pediatrician came this afternoon and he thought she looked "good" today, they are always thankful for a positive perspective.  Gina's dad was there "keeping watch" this afternoon while she was resting and Paul was headed home to rest.  Will look to post again Monday after the MRI.