I can't believe it's 2010....I signed a check the other day "2002". I can remember when my parents used to do stuff like that and I would think 'they are so old', which, come to think of it, was exactly the look our babysitter gave me:). I can also remember celebrating (as opposed to watching football, which is what I'm doing now) New Years in my 'youth', as if it were some hallowed occasion, when in reality, my life was all about me, in that moment--what did I care what year it was, much less what I had 'accomplished' or 'survived' that year. Anyway, today I definitely feel a 'whew, we made it'.

Here are some year-end thoughts:

1. There is no freakin end to household chores....laundry, dishes, and mess wait for no one!

2. Everyone in this life has misery and sadness and crisis of some sort coming their way...it's prudent to have your 'stuff' together to be able to deal with it.

3. There are people out there that enjoy the pain of running and there are people out there that enjoy the pain of a deep tissue massage. I am in group B. I run only for the mental health and jean size payoff.

4. Time does heal. Not completely, but it definitely dulls the sting and gives you time to learn how cope and prepare.

5. People do not intend to say incredibly hurtful, insensitive things...they just do, mostly without even knowing it. It makes me cringe to think of things that have probably come out of my mouth over the years that have had the same effect.

6. No mess on record holds a candle to 'snow globe from highchair' debacle. I thought 'vomit covering pile of 150 tiny animals' and then, 'playdough in dishwasher' were contenders. Oh no. We are talking water, glitter, and tiny shards of glass for days.

7. Everything in life is relative....everything. That's what makes human relationships so fun/confusing/difficult....every single person comes from a different reality. One person's good is another person's terrible. I'm going to do a documentary following several families and how their situations relate. I'm going to call it "Reality Check" and I can't tell you anymore because the producers are in negotiations. just kidding

8. God has a perfect plan for our lives....and the kicker to me is....it's unchanging. He knows the plans he has for us and they are good plans. This might be total laziness on my part, but I'm clinging to that promise and trying to throw out any plans I might have had--ever. Because, this, this mothering of a child with so many challenges, is beyond any plans I had or could come up with. The comfort of knowing this is the plan of a sovereign, perfectly loving God allows me to lay my head down at night.

9. Apparently my life's calling is shuffling. Not cards. Things. Shuffling all the stuff that belongs to my family to it's appropriate place. You are what you do. I'm a shuffler.

10. 2009 has been a year of miracles, big and small. We are so thankful for sweet, steadfast friends and prayer warriors; for our families, who love and serve our children with such joy; and to our God, who continues to hold us tenderly in the palm of His hand and provide for our every need.

A new year is for taking stock, thinking of where you've been, and where you are going. But the honest truth is, right now I'm not ready to think about the hardness we've been through and fear keeps me from wanting to know where we are going. Today is good enough for me.

Happy 2010!!