I am cracking up....the calls, emails, and comments are coming in like mad over my last post:).  Obviously, a lot of people are concerned that I'm going to make a total fool of myself this summer.  I just had to clarify that I was not asking "should I choose swim mini OR mumu", but "is the swim mini dorky and LIKE a mumu"?

Anyway, I have one in my possession (along with a plain old tankini)....I'll let you all know if I bust it out.

Enough about that.

Someone told me once that they looked at their post-baby body as an amazing vehicle to bring life to a baby.  That the sags, bulges, and lines were memories of sustaining another life. Or maybe I read it in a magazine.  Anyway, I thought it then, and I think it now: y e a h, r i g h t.  What I'm thinking is, what the heck happened?.  Why does the same number of pounds look so drastically different at 20 than 30?.

Summer is here and this is the first one in 3 years that I haven't been pregnant or nursing.  The swimsuit parameters have definitely changed.  Clearly, the sun has set on the bikini phase.  Buying a swimsuit, pretty much like buying regular clothes, has me totally baffled these days.  If it doesn't have an empire waist or elastic waistband, I am in over my head.  Post-babies, I have lost my sense of style (not that I was an icon before:).  This was confirmed to me last week in Macy's....I was checking out a shirt I thought was so cute, when my hand touched the veiny, wrinkled hand of a geriatric woman...trying to find her size in said shirt. I cannot be trusted.

This, coupled with G's proclamations of "momma, your stomach is squishy!"(children keep you humble, right?) have left me in fear and trembling of the dreaded swimsuit . All this leads me to my question.....

The "swim mini":  a viable option for post-baby 30 something, or totally-dorky-mumu-like swim dress?

and, please no "you look great, gina" comments....just answer the question. happy summer!

I've been on 'vacation' for the last 2 weeks (hubbie on business). And by 'vacation' I mean, at my parents house, with both kids. I have only washed my hair twice (once being this a.m, along with my only vaca shave...seeing hubbie today), eaten whatever I wanted, watched mulitiple Lifetime movies, and rotated the same 2 outfits. And by 'outfits', I mean pajama pants. I have let my kids eat whatever they wanted--Garrett chose 'Papa's chips' (Pringles) and popcycles, Lilah chose her carseat straps and anything plastic. I have let them sleep random places and times. G has been basically 'discipline-free',  has not worn shoes in at least a week, and has drug his "monk ba" (monkey lovey and paci) all over creation. It's a gay life, right?. And by gay, I mean "happy, exciting":).

Months ago, when I was knee deep in "diagnoses", medicines, machines, and hospital stays, I complained to my dad that "I hate my life" (this is so not true, I just tend to be dramatic in the moment). He said "at least you have good memories". This makes me chuckle even months later--because it's so not what you say to someone who's about to lay down in traffic, but also really true.  It will definitely go in the 'quote board'!

I have had lots of fancy, exciting vacations in my life...and I loved them.  Great memories.  But I have a feeling when I'm 80, some of my sweetest memories will be of everyday moments.  And sometimes, I have to get away from my tasks....to make the memories of everyday.  Such precious moments in the everyday things.  I love my family and I do love my life.  As tough as a 2 1/2 year old and 10 month old that travels with her own medical office can be, I sure wouldn't trade them for a "real" vacation.  Not that I'm not dreaming of the beach.....:).

I have some seriously great memories from my time in the Alpha Chi house at Indiana University...really, it was 'life changing' (I tend to overuse this phrase, but I mean it here).  Now I find my self in this alternate world where no one understands how the Greek system  was meant to be (i.e. the south, where there are no sorority houses, thereby ruining the balance).  No one talks about the cold dorm or knows the fine art of birthday posters.  I am not nearly stupid enough to open Pandora's box on all the memories, but one of my favorites was the 'quote board'. Every semester we would hang a huge, fresh piece of paper on the wall and write down funny things people said--which was so fun to look back on at the end of our time together, and would probably be altogether NOT funny today.

All that to say, I have a new journal.   This is the 3rd journal I've bought in my lifetime, but this one is really pretty and I'm committed to using it:).  My first order of business is to start my own quote board.  Here are 2 from today:

Garrett (2 ):  screaming from another room: "GINA, what you doing? where you be?"

Grandma:  "You know, swine flu is really giving pigs a bad name."       because, pigs had a great reputation before, right?  

Anyway, journal with me people! We are going to be old someday and we'll want to remember.:)

Lilah is 10 months!

Lots of people have asked, so here is the latest 'state of Lilah's health' report....

-still off O2 during the day (I count this among the biggest miracles of her life), not at night.

-no heart monitor or feeding pump. we monitor O2 sats as needed.

-no seizures since leaving the hospital last September. I am thankful for this everyday! Lots of kids with neurological impairments have uncontrolled seizures:(, but L's meds are very effective for her.

-she gets all nutrition via her G-tube and slow weight gain is still a huge issue for her. she gets "tastes" of crackers and baby foods, but can't have any liquids because she aspirates (gets it in her lungs). she gets 6 oz of high calorie formula 5x/day, plus oil for extra fat/calories. always wishing i could give her some of mine:)

-she now gets physical, speech, occupational, and play therapies once a week...praise the Lord, they come to us because of danger of illness.

-she has a progressive and "impressive" (this is doctor speak for 'bad') spinal curvature and "twist". we are waiting/watching, hoping to make it to 2 years before beginning the process of bracing, casting, and then rod placement. it sucks. i don't really like to think about it.

-her heart is doing great...functioning well with medication. still looking at closing one of the holes (ASD) around 2.

Some of my big concerns right now:

1. really low muscle tone. although we are seeing improvements, Lilah continues to have very limited head control. her weakness is every muscle throughout the whole body, and impacts everything from a health, social, and physical standpoint.

2. lots of mucous. i know, this is disgusting....but it gags her, makes her vomit, and seems to be causing constant ear infections. i'm sure tubes are in our future.

3. i feel like she is wanting to be engaged with toys and people at a level beyond her physical ability and this breaks my heart. we've ordered a special chair that is supposed to support her really well and hopefully make things a little easier.

Things we are so thankful for:

1. no daytime oxygen:)

2. better sleep

3. she is happy, happy, happy!

4. she can make choices between 2 toys, has begun to babble the tiniest bit, and has rolled over a few times.

5. she is so engaged socially and this is a great sign for her cognitive ability. she knows familiar faces, fears strangers, and prefers boys (particulary her daddy). she holds her arms up to be picked up and fusses when she's left alone. she has favorite toys, 'plays' with her brother, and gets her own paci if she can reach it. she likes her bath (which is good because she sweats a lot!) and loves to talk to herself in the mirror.

One of my biggest fears when we got her diagnosis was that she would lead a life of mere existence. While I morn her inability to have anything close to 'normal' 10 month old's life, I truly believe that she is enjoying her life. And for that, I am most thankful!

I'm suffering from from stage fright here, people! I know...you are shocked.  Here's the deal....in the last 2 weeks, I feel like I have heard from about 30 people that they read this blog and it kind of freaks me out.  Not because I'm private--clearly, I'm not.  But, because I started this as a place to keep up with all the milestones, silly conversations, and bloopers of my kids--not because I think I have anything great or novel to say.  Anyway, this is my disclaimer....I will continue to write the meaningless stuff that I think is funny (and I have a very low threshold) and the some of the more serious things.  This really is a place for me to "work it out" and I feel strongly that I will look back some day and delight in God's faithfulness.  I honestly don't think our life is that interesting--unless you're just looking for a good cry (haha).  The fact that so many care to keep up with us, and more importantly, pray for us, is humbling.  Really, best gift ever....that all kinds of people....some whom we don't even know....love and care for Lilah and our family.  Words cannot express the power of that encouragement and our gratitude.  Thankyou:)!!

Back to my disclaimer....you might rarely find something here worth reading and other times you might just see a random story about how I bludgeoned a mouse to death with mop.  All that to say, don't expect much from me--it's too much pressure:).

sweet baby loving her dolly

clearly not making a lot of headway toward getting rid of the pacis:)

Happy Birthday Paul!

Top 10 Reasons I Love Paul Burch:

10. He is incredibly persistent.  Seriously--never gives up.

9.  He loves to travel.  Right now I'm thinking, what the heck is travel? But, I'm looking forward to the day that he can take me back to some of the 40+ countries he's visited.

8.  He has an true passion for the little things in life....coffee, fires, his window boxes, Whirly-Pop.

7.  He has a really giving and generous spirit.

6.  He's a great listener.  He lets me ramble about random things. I can tell him anything and he loves me anyway.

5.  You can tell exactly what he's thinking by looking in his eyes.

4.  He's very encouraging--and not just in the 'say the right things' kind of way, but really truthful and uplifting.

3. He's fun, and funny, and there is no one I'd rather spend time with.

2. He's so darn tall, dark, and handsome.  The "dark" is quickly turning to gray this year and I'm loving that, too.

1.  Paul is wise, loving, and tenderhearted.  He is an incredible husband, father, brother, son, and friend.  He is a great provider and he leads me, and our family well.  His heart is gracious, trusting in the Lord, and steadfast.  I will love this man all the days of my life!