Thursday, July 1, 2010

I've gotta say...I'm having some 'freak-outs' about how in the world I'm going to survive when Lilah gets bigger. I can barely carry her now. She hates to be put down. How will I manage to get her in and out of places (bathtub, stroller, car, etc) safely? My mind spirals out of control until it lands at an obese, total invalid, with no self-care skills. (Because I like to 'go to' worse case scenario, so I can "plan" and "prepare" and then be surprise when it's not so bad).
Anyway, this fear is forefront on my mind these days because Lilah is right on the verse of being to heavy to carry around much. Which means, now starts the days of confinement to a stroller/wheelchair while every other child is running and playing. It breaks my heart for her, I know she would love to do more if she could. But I have been reminded and am reflecting on a few things lately:
1. each day at a time. no point in worrying about what's not here yet. (right now, I should be thankful for this time that I can still carry her a bit)
2. His grace is always sufficient (He will provide for her/our needs)
3. His mercies are new every morning (every morning I have new strength from Him, for her)

Tonight, I am thankful for the Lord. For His immeasurable love for his children. For His promises to grow and prosper Lilah. I am resting as His child, trusting His plan.

3 comments:

J. K. Jones said...

Praying...

The Avery House said...

Gina, I was so happy to get to talk to you the other night at the 4th celebration party. I am already touched by your journey with Lilah and the graces God reveals through her. I look forward to getting to know you, Paul and the children better. I feel blessed that God has brought us together as neighbors and friends in Christ. Praying too, for God's continued graces to be showered upon your family and for his wisdom to be revealed to you as you continue day by day in your journey. Thank you for sharing your sweet girl and family with us. You are glorifying Him through your testimony.

Anonymous said...

Dear Gina and Paul-(Paul, who made this adventure possible!),

I just love you, Gina, SO much.

Did you even contenplate the Shroud of Turin? Our Lord probably got His nose broken (that's not really a bone, but cartilage-so no prophecy about 'no broken bones' was missed, either when they beat him or when he fell one of the three times on the Via de la Rosa)WHICH MEANS, my dear cousin, that you are obviously now worthy of sharing in the sufferings of Christ. I'll never forget the day our ENT Dr.stuck a tool and a flashlight up my nose-then- without warning-yanked apart the my already re-fusing snout after a friend accidentally broke my nose in 10th Grade! My ears wanted to pop and I SCREAMED-a right, aweful Garret-type of scream, I am sure.

Second, if it is The Lord's will and no amount of advanced protein diet with Mannose straightens out Lilah at any time (in spite of the science of Eugenics-and all that Paris Green used on the crops in the South in our Grand and Great-Grand's generation...and how it could have affected all of us genetically...and Lilah fulfills your 'worse-case-scenario...trust me, as your FAT cousin-everyone who sees the fat will automaticfally presume she has NO self-care skills and that she is socially "in-valid" anyway, so it won't make a difference. But IF that day comes, and IF we still have any of Dad's equipment left, and, IF I am still an Aunt Rose, I just might be able to step in when all of your caregivers abandon you...but it's just a thought to comfort you, my dear. Don't go there. We have our Lord who is the GREAT Mathmetician/logarhythm, matrix-maker and keeper of the Kingdom details and HE will supply all of Lilah's needs. Did He not promise that for her in her Baptism and to keep her for Eternity?

Yesterday's Gospel was, "Be anxious for nothing."-not even ALL the money you make from your NY Times Best-Seller of putting your wonderfully written blog into book form. (My wish for you.) THEN you will NEVER worry about one penny. You could even become St. Jude Hospital's "leading Mom".

As for G.-He's jealous of the attention Lilah gets and can't articulate it...maybe. Surely, your Aunt S. S. might have some insight on that.

God bless you and Paul, S and L SO MUCH. You'r writing is amazing.

xo,

Cathy