Saturday, March 20, 2010

So....because we are a glutton for punishment, we took the kids out to eat after a long day of egg hunting, bounce housing, and all the other glorious things that come with the first day of spring. We chose Indian food because, I'm all busy at home creating the illusion of Martha Stewart, and too busy to cook anything that needs to be warm or requires ingredients (because carrying very low 'stock' makes your cabinets look huge!), and we've eaten out so much lately, we've embarrassed to be seen at our usual haunts again. So.... Indian....yummy.
Garrett is pumped because he remembers the 'naan' bread they have and says in his not-so-inside voice, many times, "yeah, i love that bread, do you remember that daddy, i love it, you love it doncha?" So we walk in the door and G immediately yells "yep, looks like there have been some Indians here". I'm not totally sure what he meant by that, but I suspect that, all this time, he has thought we was eating Indian, like 'cowboys & indians', Food. He then see an older woman in a sari, and promptly declares that 'she looks weird'. He waits out the food by balancing strange objects on his staw, just to see how far he can get until one of his parental units snap.
Sweet Lilah does great at restaurants and has just graduated to being able to sit up in a restaurant high chair. She stays amused with the utensils, the bread, snacks like cheerios, and reading Target coupons.:)
The funny/notsofunny thing about this dinner was that our waiter, who was sweet and very well-intentioned, was all over our kids. Touching their hair and faces, making jokes (to which L did not laugh), and, generally, trying to get them to engage with him. He was successful with G early on and then diverted his attention to Lilah. He wanted to know what she wanted to eat, drink, if she needed a cup, plate, etc.......asking Lilah first. Now, we've made large strides in attention and responsiveness, but this was WAY out of her league. He turns to me and says"She looks at me like I'm an allien". Ugh, he's right, she is most on her 'A game' with familiar people, looking at strangers with a totally blank stare.
Next he's coming back asking what she's had to eat.....'did she try the Korma?' .... 'don't you want me to get her a plate or a drink' ....'is she fasting? haha'. I told him at the beginning that I had brought her foods and I wasn't quite sure what to say at this point. I'm starting to feel like it's I have to say something, but I'm not quite sure what to say. (It did not help that I felt like I had an audience observing my parenting b/c 2 of Lilah's team of pediatricians happened to be there, too. )
I'm sure there are loads of books out there on this whole 'what to say' things. And, I'm sure you are tired of hearing my say "I don't know what to say" when, clearly, I always have something to say. I just don't know what is the 'right' thing to say. And I don't care what someone else thinks is the right thing to say. I am searching for my 'mantra' so to speak....what I say to others who notice she's not quite the same. I want to put people at ease. I want to speak openly about Lilah, but never discount who she is or what she understands. She is someone, instead of something and I never want to say anything to make it sound like she's less. Because she's not. And we are fiercely proud of her.
And because we are so in awe of Lilah, we can just laugh when waiters say things like,
"Ahh, look. No response from her at all. Absolutely nothing."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't know how, but you had the ability to make me feel awkward, very emotionally moved, laugh, and get a little mad all at the same time in this passage. Love to hear how you speak about your daughter and the pride that you have in her...Hate that people have to be so thoughtless and weird! It was great chatting some with you today!
~April G.