I am enjoying so much about Ada that I missed out on with my last (mostly because she didn't do it, but also because the emotional stress pretty much wiped out all my memories from that time). She is strong... raising her head like a little turtle off my shoulder, grabbing my finger with all her might, kicking her way down her bed. She is loud...full of a million noises, happy and sad. She's alert...her eyes are alive, taking in more of her new world every day. We love her so much and she has, literally, breathed new life into our home.
The truth is, I'd have more time if I'd set her down and quit gazing upon her sweet face. But, I have no intention of doing that because I can't get enough of her. A healthy baby girl seems like the greatest gift I could have been given at this point. A redemption of sorts. I'm not sure I could ever explain it in words, or that anyone who had not been in this exact situation would understand. But, it somehow lesssens the hurt and easeses the mourning of so many griefs we have over Lilah.
Of course, that was not our 'intention' when adding to our family. We simply felt like it wasn't complete. She was not planned as an 'extra' or a 'back-up' or a 'second chance' (ps, when I write my book, this is going in the chapter of things never to say to a mother of an ill child). But, the Lord gave us Ada as a gift--an unexpected blessing. We look at her and are reminded that we love a Father that loves us more.