Hut Hut! I have gotten some video up here....not a great work of art, but a start. Thankyou iPhone.

I have come across a fear that I have, in fact, not acquired in the last 18 months......I have no fear that Lilah's life will be inconsequential. I know she is of consequence, that her life matters.

I heard a story the other day about a family who'd lost a young child in a tragic accident. The wife was begging and pleading the Lord to show her what her child's life had meant. That it was purposeful.

And after I heard that, and finished wiping my bubbling snot and tear streamed eyes (not in that order) on my scarf, I felt so thankful!!! Really, even though I will raise a child with profound disabilities , whose potential death is a reality, I never have to question if Lilah's life matters. Of course, she transforms our lives and hearts everyday...a reminder of truth and what really counts and what's just filler. From the beginning, 'her story' was able to pull together thousands of prayers for her healing. Not a week goes by that someone doesn't tell me that Lilah has changed their life. She is winning friends and influencing people for The King. Seems darn important to me! Definately a worthy purpose.

We are so proud of this little girl!

love.love.love.

You've probably already heard it, but for the sake of Cupid, I'm going to tell it again. Our love story (or at least how it started)

September 2002 after a UT football game. I was in from Nashville with girlfriends and Paul was out with some guys he played basketball with. It all went down at a bar called Charlie Peppers on 'the strip'. It was so crowded we didn't think we'd get in, but we squeezed through the door and joined the masses trying to find a spot and I looked up and fell in love. Seriously, I caught Paul's eye and smiled instantly, and he at me, like we'd known each other forever. He was about 3 body rows over from my train, so we didn't even cross paths. I just knew he would come over and say 'hi'...so I waited (every so often having my girlfriends check if he was still there). I was devastated when I thought he'd left, but I turned around and there he was. Sweetest smile you've ever seen your whole life and nervous as all get out. He said something like he "wasn't sure what to say". And I said "I think you're supposed to ask my name first".

We talked for 2 hours and I was smitten.

I would have followed Paul to the ends of the Earth....I'm just glad it was only Knoxville:). We got married 11 months later and looking back....barely knew each other (just as we'd been warned). But now I know, no amount months can prepare you for what life holds. I am so thankful to go through the journey with such an incredible partner.

Here are my littlest Valentines, who teach me so much about really loving.

I don't have a great history with mice. Shocking...I know. In fourth grade, my parents set a mouse trap on the top shelf of our pantry. I stuck my hand in to get some Fun Fruits (why don't they still make those?) and it snapped--on my fingers!!! I ran around the house screaming/crying about the mouse trap stuck on my hand instead of removing it. Because I'm smart like that. Anyway, that was the beginning. I have never been the same.

Years later a friend told me that she is certain a mouse ran across her forehead while she was sleeping. I have not rested well since. And then there was the time Paul was out of town for 3 weeks (I'm not sure why the time is important, other than I knew I couldn't leave it until he got back. Also, he is not exactly rodent-slayer-extraordaire, fyi) and I had just gotten the kids down and settled in for my 612th viewing of The Notebook, when a mouse scurried under my feet (or across the room, which seemed like under my feet). After I quit crying and got down from the ceiling fan, I peeled the back off a sticky trap and set it up in the kitchen. I am not exaggerating (not that I would) when I say, minutes later, I heard the sound of struggle coming from said trap. THERE WAS A LIVE MOUSE STUCK ON MY TRAP, dragging itself across my kitchen, like a pirate with a wooden leg. (I'm feeling like I've already told this story, and if I have, too bad. It bears repeating). I will make a long, tear filled, many phone calls later to every man in my life story short by saying I bludgeoned the mouse to death with a broom handle. Bad way to go. But it beats having your children gnawed on by rats in their crib. (which actually has happened in this fine state, I should not joke).

All this brings me to today, which began by me walking down into my kitchen and straight onto a sticky trap WITH A DEAD MOUSE STUCK TO IT. That's right people. The layering order was this: house-shoe (praise the Lord I was not barefoot), mouse, sticky trap. I am also thankful that they were P's house-shoes and that they are easily replaceable. I hope you are having a better Monday than me (and the mouse). Oh, and I feel compelled to say that we don't live in a cardboard box, or with peanut-butter smearing the walls (which, did you know, mice love?)...just a lovely, older home.

Sweet Ya had a cardiology appointment today and it went well. Most everything her Dr. looks for was stable or improving....the best we could hope for. My brain still has a hard time processing the knowledge that her heart can be functioning well for a time and then...not. So, that part of these appointments are always a bit of a reality check. It's easy to have this sweet, happy, healthy looking (at least relative to last year) baby home and assume development or change will continue to happen in a positive manner.

But, the best thing about this appointment was......Lilah waved!!! Dr. Bremer came in the room, I said "can you wave and say hi to Dr Bremer?". At this point, you could see time slowing down as she worked to raise her hands and look at them quizzically. I have never seen time stand still, but it did, at least for us, as she looked at Dr. Bremer, looked back at her hand and squeezed her fingers in and out for.....A WAVE!!! It was....the most beautiful moment I've ever seen.

It's nice to see the miraculous in the otherwise ordinary!