Last September, the day Lilah was transfered from a regular bed to the ICU at Children's...the day we were told she was in heart failure with multiple cardiac defects and likely much more....I remember thinking--"Our marriage is screwed. It will never be the same." I'm sure this seems odd, but I'm a big-picture person and the impact a child with special needs can have on parents and their marriage is not an easy one. Later in the day, when L was stabilized and the spinning of the room had slowed, Paul left me with my mom and went out to "get some air". Here we go...he's running already I thought.
My sweet husband returned a short time later, eyes red rimmed, and took my face in his hands. He looked me in the eyes and told me, "We are going to get through this together. We are her parents and we have been entrusted with her life for a reason. God has not left or forsaken us, and we will make it, whatever is ahead." Or something like that. The point is it was exactly what I needed to hear...from a man that is exactly what I need (and what I want).
We really do mean it when we say this last year has been such a blessing and one of the biggest ways has been strengthening our marriage. We have clung to one another (at times feeling like passengers on the Titanic and at others like climbing partners who took Everest) and kept each other going (usually passing one another, as if on alternating escalators of emotion).
Anyone can survive the easy times, but the honest truth is that life is full of hard times and marriage is work. The great thing is when you love the one you work with:).