wildly popular bean bag chair:)
I've been doing a lot of thinking about healing lately because: 1. my church did a series on the topic, 2. it's come up several times in my devotional, and 3. random people in public keep asking me about if Lilah will be "okay". One of the weird things about having a child with so many 'problems' is that you kind of have to come up with a party line--you know, what you say about "it" when people ask. Otherwise, you end up screaming at a poor, defenseless, and very old lady in Walgreens, who just wants to see your baby, who is asleep and covered by her baby carrier (which dons a sign that says "please wash hands before touching me"), "DON'T TOUCH HER SHE HAS HEART DEFECTS!!!!!!" Or, you see an old acquaintance, and because a) you kind of wish you never had to see anyone again, and b) you are not prepared with the party line, you burst into tears in very awkward places.
Anyway, back to the random people part....because of extraordinary circumstances, I took Lilah to BabiesRUs not too long ago (obviously not thinking clearly because..... all expectant mothers want to see a baby on oxygen...no?). The check out lady: "she's going to be okay, right?". Me: pause...."uh". Check out lady: "I mean, she'll be okay though?". Me: pause, pause, pause, "well, uhm". Check out lady: "But, she's going to be okay." Me: "Yes"(because, please just give me my receipt and let me escape). I did not have the party line ready and I still can't figure out how I would have answered that if I was ready. "It depends on what your definition" of okay is (little known fact--I voted for him--I blame youth, and the saxophone). I think the check out lady meant, "Is she going to die?". The short answer is 'we don't know' and the long answer has more to do with "will she be healed?".
The best, and only, marriage advice I carry with me remember, came from my father-in-law after our rehearsal dinner. He said, "The reasons marriages fail is because of unmet expectations. You should not carry expectations"....or something to that effect. I am trying to apply the same lesson to Lilah....not to impose my expectations of what healing looks like on God's plan for her life....and, trying to trust that He can heal, without expecting Him to. Clearly if I had my way, God's healing of my daughter would be of the "seven dips in the river to complete healing" variety. The ironic thing is that, as I begin to let go of my expectations for her health and development, my eyes are opening to all the ways He has healed her already. She smiles, she is engaged, she knows us, she's gaining weight, she's getting stronger....these are truly gifts to us...things we did not expect. And, gifts you don't expect are much sweeter. Those things remind me that God hears our prayers, and is doing a mighty work in Lilah's life and in ours.
So, in case you were afraid to ask...the party line around here on healing is "Yes"! Maybe not yet, but for forever and fully.
"Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered..."