I could not have laughed at this months ago:) Garrett is giving his baby medicine and her feeding tube.

Sweet baby padded up and leaned back in the high chair. She is so proud!!

On our trip to Memphis, we read/played/answered The Question Book (at this moment, a group of 5 women are holding their breath in fear of what I'm about to reveal:). Last night, on the way to Litton's, Paul and I answered a few more. The question was "what are your compulsions". My answer....chores! I feel compulsive just thinking that. I'm always thinking of my 'to do' list. The thing is, even though I'm constantly working on the list, I feel like we live in a state of 'upheaval'. (note: i am not talking about lofty aspirations, like furniture stripping, here. I mean the basics.) House a wreck, someone needing clean clothes, someone else needing a bath, a room totally torn apart. I am definitely doing better than months ago, but if anything 'out of the ordinary happens'....I drop all the balls. Yesterday, I tried to take down the crib in Garrett's room (he's graduated), by myself, while Paul was at work, with both kids awake. It was a total disaster.

Before you think I need to quit trying to be super-woman and/or please people....I stopped that long ago. This is about me. Why do I long for things to be perfect? Why do I only feel it's been a good day when I am productive? Why do I only feel at peace when things and people are clean and put away? Why can I not just live in the moment? Race cars with Garrett? Hold Lilah for hours? Let all the other stuff go to hell? I know what matters...what memories I will cling to when I'm 80....I just can't make myself do it. I don't think I'm alone. Most women I know are this way (my grandma is 80+ and can't sit still to save her life). I write this because it stops today...or maybe tomorrow...I have laundry to fold now:). But, this is a call to action! If I'm going to let my domestic facade sink like the Titanic, I'm taking other people with me. When I randomly drop by your houses this summer, I expect to find dishevelment...and happy, dirty kids:).