Remember this? Well, as luck would have it, that little cow has become Garrett's best friend as of late..he's been changing it's clothes, giving him a bottle, and strapping him in a seatbelt when we travel.  The unlucky part is that today, due to what can only be called 'lack of parental supervision', that cow, who can be gently warmed in the microwave, was incinerated.  The small, fragrant lavender beads that it was lovingly stuffed with were heated to a temperature just slightly under nuclear reactor.

The back-story is that, like it or not, the oldest child of a handicapped sister and a newborn is forced into some independence.  While it may not be ideal that he washes his own hands (a 6/10 on the cleanliness factor) or pours his own cereal (only chunky kinds, he is not ready for rice krispies or anything like that)...it is a necessity for small tasks that he doesn't want to wait 15 minutes for momma to help with.  (and momma doesn't want to listen to the 400 times he would ask in those 15 minutes).  Anyway, warming up the 'microwave safe' cow is one of those tasks that he does...with me hollering out instructions while holding a nursing baby or a feeding tube. "Push 9.  Push 0.  Push Start".  Those are the instructions.  He knows his numbers.  We've never had a problem.

Until today.  Disasters always happen when there are a million mini-catastrophes in the works.  Little baby is hungry.  Middle baby is dirty.  Men are mowing the lawn.  The phone is ringing.  Paul is calling to see if I can get some numbers off his computer.  And then it dawns on me....at the exact same moment that Garrett whines "this cow is never going to be ready"....he has been standing in front of that microwave an awfully long time....it smells funny in here....there is smoke billowing up in my kitchen.  Ohhh  Nooooo!!!!!!

I run over, open the microwave, and it is like scene out of cartoon horror.  Cow has met his maker.  He is smoking and crispy.  And, I start laughing hysterically.  Because I'm sensitive to the needs of my children like that.  Double fail.  But, I couldn't quit laughing, which made Garrett cry even harder.  (Side note:  what is wrong with me that I thought think that is so funny?).  He was genuinely devastated.  He even asked me if cow was in heaven...which just goes to show you how fine the line is between imaginary and real when you are almost 5....or how quick on their feet kids are--because he knows all about heaven, and how you get there.  And that stuffed animals don't qualify.

Anyway, cow quickly made his way outside, away from the smoke detector, with a pair of grilling tongs.  And, because I'm a better 'one-click Amazon shopper' than I am 'explainer of life's disappointments'....a new cozy plush animal is on its way in the mail.  Oh, and for the record, cozy plush animals should, indeed, be microwaved on high for 90 seconds.....and not nearly 9 minutes.

I'm Back

I haven't blogged in awhile because I've been away....on a tropical island, with my husband and an umbrella in my drink.  Riiiiiiighhht.
In reality the days are whooshing past at warp speed, which is odd, because I find myself saying 'it was a long day' at the end of every day.  Our days seem to start earlier, though really, we are just out the door earlier, which means we I hit the ground running when my eyes open...and I'm just too darn spent at the end of the day to write down any of the funny and not so funny adventures we've had.  Here are a few I can remember from the past days:

--Garrett has declared 'Farties' as his favorite candy, and even though I know his little mouth changes 's' blend sounds to /f/...I still laughed for a solid minute.  I am not doing my part as his mother to snuff out the 5 year old potty talk---so help me, I cannot not laugh.  A boy that changes a pack of princess fruit snacks to  "Princess Poopy" and "Queen Stinky" is funny to me.

--Lilah has a best friend at school.  His name is Christian and he is black and she is using him for his hair.  She loves his hair and follows him in her wheelchair so she can love on him and touch his hair.  I haven't actually seen this in action, and am only going on teacher reports...so I've probably embellished their friendship a bit:). But, I love the thought of her having a best friend, so I'm going with it.

--Garrett has given me an incredible gift for his upcoming birthday....he has chosen to have his Daddy take him to a local indoor waterpark instead of having party.  Read:  minimal mommy involvement.  That's right....invitations, cake, bounce house, treat bags...all that crap that you have to do before you watch your child have the inevitable party meltdown is not happening for me.  I am inexplicably happy.

--Ada is by far my favorite child right now.  Happy, quiet, calm, and very appreciative of her mother.  She is a good listener and a great sleeper (although my expectations are notably low).  She eats what she is given and wears what she is told.  She is grateful for what she has and other than being a horrible car traveler and a difficult burper, I have no complaints about her.  She'll be 4 months next week.  Remind me that I said this about her, because I see a twinkle in her eye that makes me nervous.

-I have mastered (though I use this term in the loosest sense), the drop off and pick-ups.  It is not pretty, but I can get it done.  3 children, 2 backpacks, 16 loose papers (why do teachers do this??), 2 lunches,  a wheelchair, an infant carrier, keys, and a cell phone.......nothing to it.  On a related note, I'm taking applications for an intern--the pay is, well....there is no pay.  But, it'd be an experience.  There are similar positions open around here for medical expense secretary, appointment secretary, trash collector, laundry mistress, and put-stuff-back-person.  They are all similarly glamorous.

--the other day, I put Lilah down on the floor in the kitchen to clean her high chair before she went back in it, and I returned from the sink to find her--gone! She had scooted into the playroom (about 15 feet) after tickle-me-elmo.  Of course, it took me 30 minutes to quit second guessing where I had actually set her down before I could be sure she had done it.  I am both proud of her and frustrated that she acts so unmotivated to do it at other times.

 Could you all just be quiet??!!

This girl is begging for a pageant.  Toddlers and Tiaras, anyone?? Ada received this as a gift, and I must say....she looks pretty happy in it.  You should have seen her after I got her 'glitzed'...fake teeth, a wig, and a spray tan.  It was awesome.  Kidding:)

I think it's a bad sign that a week of getting kids to preschool has rendered me brain dead and totally exhausted.  Also, I kind of expected to have a cleaned house, organized drawers, made meals, and lost 10 pounds.  Not so much.

Maybe next week.

I love how they both look rather annoyed at me.  

It makes me laugh that the 'back story' of every first day of school picture is a crazy mother, whiny children, and a ticking clock...and then they are supposed to pose with their backpacks...the last thing they want to do at 8am.

If I could read her mind, I think the hardest thing for her about school is no pacifier and no Backyardigans.  Here she is ooching out the last few minutes of both on the way.

Lots of nice clothes...always chooses something small and stained:)

I think our first week went well...everyone seems happy.  Garrett did cry like I was sending him off to labor camp before school.  Sigh.

Today is the day...school starts in full swing.  Lilah and Garrett both go--to two different schools, at two different times.  Lilah needs a change of clothes, a feeding tube, a case of food, breakfast, lunch, two bibs, two cups, and her signed and returned folder.  Garrett needs his backpack, paperwork, change of clothes, a lunch, two drinks, sunscreen on his scar, his hat, and a spanking to adjust his attitude before we get there (kidding).  I know you all aren't so interested in the minutia of my mental checklist, such as it is, but I'm using you as a sounding board to review:).
I'm a bit keyed up today--up and drinking stout coffee before the chickens.  I haven't been up before the chickens since my littlest hatchling was born.  But, I can't sleep this morning b/c I'm trying to figure out how it's really going to happen.  This is the first morning I've had to haul all three anywhere on a schedule...poor Ada.  I'm sure she'll love being plucked from her nice, warm bed to enter the auditory assault of the Backyardigans blaring and Garrett whining about not going.  Her reward is coming though...both big kids accounted for and out of the house--at the same time--and her momma all to herself!!
Incase there are any fears about what I will do with 4 free hours...I should be going to the grocery, because a mouse could not live here for lack of food.  However, I'm planning on a magazine, a cold diet coke, and the pool....my mountain of chores will have to wait until next week.

Most little sisters think their brother hung the moon....interested in him to a point of contention.  But, not this one...and it's not for lack of trying on his part.  Garrett would dangle from the rooftop, while dancing and singing her favorite songs--if only it would get her attention.  All he wants is for her to notice him...watch what he's doing...acknowledge that he's as cool, as he already knows he is.  Garrett works hard for some connection and for whatever reason, Lilah is much more likely to engage with an adult than children.

Here is a rare glimpse at a shared laugh....so glad I caught it on film.  It was a YouTube Elmo video:).

I really should read the news more (it was one of my resolutions, after all), because I know if I was wondering about things like the Middle East or healthcare, I'd spend less time stressing about Garrett's lunch.  That's right...I've spent way too much time thinking about what to pack in a not-yet-5-year-old's lunch...for preschool.  I lead a narrow and shallow life--it's now official.  Buuuuut, this year he goes 4 days and, if my new math is right, that's 4 lunches a week.

Either the apple does not fall far from the tree, or I indulge G, like I do his father, when it comes to food.  Hot meat.  Every meal. (For the record, I mostly do not cook breakfast or lunch, but still).  No sandwiches. No pasta.  No cheese.  This is fine at home, but not incredibly convenient for a boxed lunch.  In previous years, his teachers have assumed our family is vegetarian---which makes me laugh just to type, because, at our house--beef and bacon reign.   They thought this because I sent things like hummus, nuts, and nut butters as protein sources for lunch.  All mothers know that when your child likes a healthy food, you beat it like a dead horse until they act like they'd sooner eat rat poison that let hummus pass their lips.  Of course, I did it anyway and now I'm out of easy options.

So, as I was lazing by the pool this summer, with a cold drink and a cabana boy fanning me.....what was I saying??? Oh yeah, my plan.  My plan revolves around a thermos to keep foods hot.  For the record, I tried to send a hot dog in foil one time and it did not pass the test.  Chicken nuggets, bagel bites, quesadillas, I'm thinking.  For the last week, I've taken a two pronged approach:  1) test thermos to see if it indeed would keep a dog hot (btw, thermoses seem very retro to me.  i'm like mrs brady)... and 2) get the little dictator to agree to some food he might be willing to eat from said thermos.

Prong 1 is going poorly.  The first three days, I filled the thermos with hot water to warm it up and then forgot to fill it with food later. Day 4, I put some hot eggs in from breakfast, but forgot to check on it until dinner.  It was cold. (i'm like mrs brady, without alice)  I was demoralized and lost motivation for day 5.  Tomorrow is a new day.

Prong 2 went something like this:
me:  "Garrett, what do you think you'll take in your lunch this year."
g:  "nothing.  i'm not going."
pause
g:  "ribs"

"I'll trade you my sandwich for your.....beef tips?? pork chops?? new york strip??"

Great.  Ribs.  Totally convenient.  I'll get right on that.  Except, I guess I should quit worrying about it because he still maintains that he's not going.  Should be a great year:)